I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize