god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
