I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
