I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
