Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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