i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
