420 ftw
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the day after is always just damage control
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sobbing to NWA
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
