Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
