I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
