Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
