Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
