I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
