Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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