The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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