i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
