all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
