what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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