Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
