I should be sponsored by Trojan
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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