DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
