This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
