Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
