I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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