He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
