Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize