hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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