Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
