i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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