Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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