I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
