"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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