i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
