I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize