She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
