I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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