i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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