my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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