i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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