I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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