he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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