Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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