Say something about gay babies.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
