wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
