clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We're too hungover to prance.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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