Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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