never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
