Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
