Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
