weddingsv make me drug and hornr
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
