Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
