Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
