Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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