Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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