If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
