consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
