i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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