Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
