I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
