Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
