THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i love accidental penises.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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