I need help removing her.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
