well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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