If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize