you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
