I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
