I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
