Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
