i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize