Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
