If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize