I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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